Meeting My Dad's Girlfriend

Bam.
I woke up on a Saturday afternoon at about 1:30, looked at myself and said

Why am I naked?



You're just a motherfucker with a tattoo.

The thing is, if you get a tattoo... you're just a motherfucker with a tattoo.


I didn't just wonder why I was naked. I wondered why I was born. Man this shit sounds so philosophical and deep, but really it's just a drunken bipolar syndrome and what might soon become a cocaine problem. Or a baking soda problem.

I don't know why and I know it's super crude and even crass but "motherfucker" is like my favorite word. I have blithely replaced the word "person" with the word "motherfucker" in every sentence in my mind.

This shit pen is running out of ink on me.

I have to become a good and decent person. I am most of the time, it's just that to me last night was worth like a whole month of rock-bottom trashiness and just doing the direct opposite of whatever I'd normally do.
Oh yeah.

Agnosticism

dear god

please end globalization. and hipsters.

Amen


If I had a band, I would call it Resorting to Religion

'09

This year, I:

- Lived in the U.S.A.
- Got into college
- Lived in Brazil
- Cursed god
- Was and felt all alone
- Danced in high places
- Had sex
- Met someone in the same state as myself
- Fell in love
- Graduated from high school
- Cried as I left my friend for what might be forever
- Took ecstasy
- Fell in love with colleges
- Set hundreds of hours apart to study and never did
- Made out with awesome people
- Talked for like eight hours straight to the same person
- Took pictures
- Realized that I loved and how much I loved certain people
- Lost the alleged two absolute best friends I had in the whole world
- Finally tore away from my self-destructive love affair after years
- Had a nightmare
- Has an absolutely beautiful dream
- Met someone who was almost exactly like someone I knew from the past who died
- Was completely honest and said absolutely everything that I felt
- Wanted to kill myself
- Screamed and pranced with joy
- Realized I was right back to where I started
- Realized next year is actually going to be determinant and significant to me
- Spoke French
- Snorted cocaine
- For X-mas gifts, bought a thermometer and and adapter
- Lied in the fresh spring grass
- Hugged a cat
- Came back Home
- Smoked weed
- Ate miojo
- Smoked cigarettes
- Felt jealous
- Became more myself
- Went home at 8:30 AM
- Missed people
- Received extremely evident and extensive hickies
- Bit someone's nose
- Bit someone's ears
- Told someone their eyes were beautiful
- Sang in the shower
- Got very sick
- Got my heart broken
- Went to New York
- Rolled in my empty apartment with my sister
- Was so tired I went to bed extremely early
- Gave head
- Showed up unannounced
- Was late
- Was early
- Was hurt
- Travelled
- Wore bun pigtails
- Spoke pig latin
- Was very, very happy and excited
- Bought a calendar
- Was very sad and desolate
- Clinked my glass with others' glasses and dedicated it to something
- Cried in a club
- Felt embarrassed
- Ran races
- Went to France
- Laughed
- Hurt myself
- Bled
- Annoyed
- Was annoyed
- Hurt others
- Had a lot of fun
- Went to places to which I will probably never go again
- Went to places where I will probably live and to which I will be going a lot and for a long, long time
- Fantasized
- Felt estranged
- Got questions right
- Got questions wrong
- Used people
- Wanted to kill people
- Hated my face
- Felt unlucky
- Learned
- Saw people from the past
- Went to a show
- Felt scared
- Made lists
- Drew pictures
- Took down homework I didn't do
- Kissed a friend
- Wrote a manuscript

Dez Frases (sobre arquitetura e o Rio de Janeiro)

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai Gue-gaaaa...”

Que lindas calçadas, prédios e mar

Qual é a utilidade do desenho do MAC?

Achei novas e fabulosas pessoas

Que noite, as cores verde e amarelo nas nossas línguas, nos nossos pés e nas estrelas

Cristo redentor é o fool on the hill

Tem-se de ir a um lugar onde o ar é diferente. Aqui, o ar é diferente.

As outras pessoas e o mar retumbando do seu lado te motivam a correr no calçadão

Carioca não gosta de trabalhar, paulistano é cinza e pesado, carioca é esportista, carioca é mais feliz... eis a diferença que uma praia faz em nossas vidas

Cantagalo, Botafogo, Matacavalos