Yesterday, I Was Not Such A Square

Yesterday I was not such a square. Social codes might be my greatest enemy. If men can be so open about sex, why can't I be? There are differences, but I don't think it's different: if men want to nothing-but-fuck a girl, it's okay, and many times good. Think of someone, a guy that is, watching a movie w/ a hot actress. The more guys that want to touch her, the better for the moviemakers! Even girls when they put on their see-through skirts and belly-showing tank tops - they wanna look good, but they wanna look sexy - as in, they want to show guys or make guys see that they'd love to fuck her. I wanted to fuck a guy yesterday, quite simply. I just did. Men always "just did" - wanted to "fuck a girl, quite simply".

(- I didn't have dinner yesterday
- I love Marina, my tutor, even if she doesn't smell too hot. I L-O-V-E her. (I sound like I'm still drunk. It should not and does not matter, I'll be sober sober really soon anyway))

I have a prime time
And everybody has a prime time
He liked kissing me yesterday; he got a boner/hard-on.
He didn't have sex w/ me in his friend's car because his friend must have been like "DUDE, you're NOT going to fuck a girl in my car!!" and "The only person that has/ever will sex in that car is me! Go to a motel or something!"

I'm so dirty
Seriously
I didn't take a shower yesterday
And now I have these lame little pen marks
all over my writing right hand
I have to do natatation today soon.

Na tevê on TV

My friend, a girl, broke my heart yesterday
The only thing that kept our relationship alive was that not me but SHE thought we could still save it. Now she doesn't think that anymore.

OH, MARTINA!
She's the one who gave me this fucking notebook, bytheway (I no longer thing there ought to be spaces in between the words of that expression). Well, well, well. It's difficult.......... I don't even know what to say about it... Liking people that don't like you is a tough little thing, I tell ya, and it happens way too much to me. I should stop giving people so much importance. And start putting things that were in the "serious/meaningful" area in my mind in the "ridiculous" area. Like Martina who was everything to me - now I have to start seeing her as another meaningless person in my life. Because that is what she wants to be to me. Meaningless, not a significant friend.


Sad sad sad


it was hard to write all this



(because I was lying down and drunk)